Exiting ER — ER/fs
"The psychologically mature person is the
one who deals successfully with the environment, the one who has an
unquestioned accurate and objective perception of one's environment
and others and who is able to handle both successfully. The mature
person takes both the conflicts and contradictions of life and turns
them into experiences which are to her advantage.
Of course dealing successfully and handling
successfully presupposes a wider range of abilities and competencies
than one might think at first and thus will not be achieved by many.
But it is the true sign of maturity. It means a superior ability to
exercise one's emotions so that these volatile features enhance
rather than harm one's ability to perceive and achieve goals.
Indeed, perceiving clearly is probably the best way to deal with any
environment and at this the mature personality is superior. One
might be tempted to assert that dealing with other humans to fulfill
one's personal need is really the only necessity in dealing with the
environment. But I think other people are only one part of the
environment so the concept should include organizing other humans,
the physical environment and one's own mind and one's own body to
assure one's personal welfare.
The mature person is completely free of illusion.
To her, mature means one must appraise others and self accurately,
it means to be intelligent in any situation, even to being
uninhibited as in sex, for it is intelligent to be so.. The mature
has that clear perception of reality which is based on objective
evidence and her rational deductions. She must realize this reality
and acts in her won best interests even if to do so requires her to
take well thought out risks, even if it means to lose a friend.
The mature person says what needs to be said and
does what needs to be done even if doing so may not be liked by
others. The mature person is capable unto his or her self and does
not need to depend on anyone. That is, the mature person adapts to
the reality of the way things are but does not just accept them. If
something isn't right or isn't working correctly as the mature
person sees it, it is weighed against other factors. It is then
labeled good, bad, right, wrong or whatever label is necessary. Then
what the mature person does is to take intelligent action toward it,
doing it if it is to one's advantage, avoiding it if it is not.
The truly mature person is the one who insists on
total fulfillment with all actions determined by values directed at
her own well being. She would always recognize the necessity of
developing herself as an entity while appearing to conform to the
reality of the group. She would not do so out of fear of punishment
or lest she feel guilty or ashamed but out of the realization that
she must do so to employ the realities and personalities around her
to her own ends without arousing them."